Demasiado tangible para ser pesimismo
(♪Línea 1, Los Planetas♪)
He salido de casa a las 9 de la mañana y estoy de vuelta pasadas las 10 de la noche. Un día de esos largos, de los que te hacen suspirar la noche anterior, y de nuevo ahora, al pasar por la puertecita de mi pequeño refugio. Nunca fue tan acertado el decidir vivir solo.
Estoy asqueado, sudado, cansado, y tengo sueño. Me mataría tener que hacerme una cena decente. Y por desgracia, no son todas estas cosas el peso más grande que llevo encima.
Lo que de verdad no me deja sonreir ahora mismo es algo mucho más imponente, importante e intransigente. Es la cruda consciencia que otorga un día como este. Y no me vale agarrarme al viaje que hice en verano ni a las lágrimas de amistad que derramaré espero en algún momento.
La chica que veo desde la ventana nunca creería que sólo quiero hablar con ella. Contarle todo esto. Decirle que no la quiero. Sería imposible conseguir que subiera. Explicarle que todo esto es mucho más rotundo y no deja lugar a dudas. Que todos vosotros os desintegrais a mi alrededor y no me valeis de nada.
Los olores que percibo no tendrían valor si no hubiera un recuerdo al que asociarlos, y eso me hace dudar de la evocación que son capaces de provocar. Lo mismo sucede, por tanto, con los buenos momentos que he pasado con algunos de vosotros. Ahora mismo se me escapan entre las manos y no tengo fuerzas para cerrarlas.
Es en estos momentos cuando que no haya nadie en casa resulta imprescindible. Y que no me vengan con cuentos. Primero hay que sentirse así varias veces, sin asustarse, y entonces ya veremos quien es capaz de volver a creer en el amor como lo había hecho hasta ahora. A ver quien no duda que tener hijos es una desgracia. Y aseguro que a partir de aquí viajar supondrá algo diferente, los amigos ya no serán nunca lo mismo, y de esta misma manera, sin prisa pero sin pausa, de acuerdo con nuestro ritmo vital, todos nuestros castillos se irán desmoronando piedra a piedra, gota a gota, día a día.
Por suerte o por desgracia, moriremos antes de que no quede nada en pie.
posted by . @ 00:00
COn la intangibilidad de quien solo ve los toros desde la barrera. Con la fuerza del viento de otoño que hace mover los cuerpos hacia adelante aunque incluso no lo deseen..podria yo decir que el pesimismo pesa mas que el optimismo, que las dificultades son todas oportunidades pero que ademas toda mala circunstancia tiene su proceso y la obscuridad de los primeros momentos ademas de legitima es casi que necesaria porque d eoptra manera el dolor y la rabia impedira ver la luz al final del tunel...
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